Receiving "The Call" and What The Heck Do We Do Now

**I just realized I have not updated/finished our adoption story, so here is the second to last part.**

After waiting for a few weeks, we did receive a phone call from our birth mom.  She was having a hard time making her decision so she wanted us to know that she was going to email some additional questions that she wanted us to answer.  Excited, we got right to work on our answers.  However, have you ever tried to answer questions that were SO important?  It was not an easy task.  We wanted our answers to be thoughtful and most importantly honest, but in the back of our minds we knew what was riding on these answers so it was very hard not to sensationalize our answers or think about what she might want the answers to be.

So, we did what we had been doing the whole time...we prayed.  We asked God to speak through us and provide us with the words to say.  After much deliberation, we sent off our answers and waited some more.

In the meantime, we decided to work on our house, knowing that IF we were to be chosen we needed to have a few projects crossed off our list.  And to be honest, we needed a distraction to pass the time.

In late January, I was sitting at my desk working away when my phone rang.  It was phone number from the area code in which our birth mom lived and where the adoption agency was located.  Not really thinking it was "the call", I answered it and it was the social worker.  She had a very different tone in her voice than when I had talked to her before.  She went on to tell me she had a meeting with our birth mom that day and she had decided to choose us to be the parents of this precious little boy.  Of course I was speechless.  I vaguely remember saying "thank you" and that I "need to call my husband" in between tears and as soon as I hung up I called Brandon.  I told him the news, which is totally not how I had it playing out in my head, but I was running on emotions.  Thankfully, he doesn't work too far from my office and was able to come over in what seemed like 30 seconds.

If you know Brandon, you know he was already in tears...which I think is totally sweet!  We hugged for a long time, then looked at each other and said "we're going to be parents!!".  We left work early so we could call our families and share the news.  My stomach was all sorts of nervous and my mind just kept spinning.  We had so much to do in such a short amount of time -- we needed to continue reading up on adoption in general, after all it had only been about two months since we found out about the possibility of a baby, so we had a lot of catching up to do.  We also had to start preparing for a baby to enter our lives and our home.

As excited as we were to tell the whole world of our news, we also knew that there was no guarantee we would actually welcome the baby in the end.  That is the part of adoption that is risky and scary.  As confident as we were, there was also a part of us that wanted to protect our hearts since we had experienced so much hurt before.  We were slow to begin our actual preparations -- buying baby furniture and all of the other gear that comes with a baby, figuring out room decor, etc.

About a month after receiving "the call", our birth mom and her parents came to our house to visit and to meet my parents.  Again, we were nervous about how everything was going to go down, but it couldn't have gone any smoother.  We had a great time getting to know one another better and it built our confidence.  During their visit, we were fortunate enough to be able to attend a sonogram with our birth mom.  It was so amazing to be able to see the little guy and hear his heart beat.  He kept hiding his face as if he was telling us he wasn't so sure about us, but it was still amazing none the less.  It wasn't until after that visit that we really started feeling like this was all very real.

Over the next couple of months, we started to gather gear for the baby and make plans to welcome him into our lives.  We had to research insurance issues, find a babysitter, make plans for me to be away from work, find a new car, etc.  A lot of things to cram into a few short weeks.

When the first part of April rolled around, we started the waiting game.  The due date kept fluctuating based on measurements and the sonograms so we were on pins and needles just waiting.  Every time our birth mom called we kept thinking it was go time so she started prefacing her phone calls with "it's not time" or "this isn't the call".  Finally, her doctor decided he would induce her on April 12, which brought some relief to us knowing we wouldn't have to drive three hours in the middle of the night while she was in labor.

On Wednesday, April 11, we made the most important drive of our lives.  We were on our way to get our son!!  Here are a couple of pics that we took to document our trip:

{Koby staring at the car seat not really knowing what is about to happen to his world.}

{The proud dad-to-be!}

{Woo Hoo!!}

{Yep, that is Koby IN the car seat...jealous much?!?}

I'll be back with one more installment...hopefully sooner rather than later :)

My First Mother's Day!

In the past, Mother's Day was a day I avoided like the plague.  It was just a sad day for me.  I was excited for other mothers and enjoyed celebrating my own mother, but there was always a hole in my heart.  Thankfully, God had a plan for us and while it took a little longer than I anticipated, it was well worth the wait!!

Our festivities started Saturday morning when the boys took me out to breakfast.  Our favorite breakfast spot is closed on Sundays so we opted for Saturday.  Mason was pretty good through breakfast but I really think he wanted a bite of my French Toast ;)

Our Sunday started out a bit rough with the little guy not feeling so hot, but with a call to the doc and a new prescription for acid reflux, he was good to go.  We then met up with Mason's BFF Kipton and his parents Christy and Corey for lunch and a trip to Botanica.  Moms got in free so it was perfect opportunity to get out and enjoy the beautiful day!

The boys and their moms (and a photo bomber behind us)!

After we returned from Botanica, we hung out as a family and Mason gave us a real smile for the first time!!!

We also took a nice family nap which has become our favorite activity due to our lack of night time sleep :)

Overall, it was a wonderful first Mother's Day.  However, my heart was still heavy for those women who long to be mothers.  For anyone who might read this blog and is in the same boat that I used to be, I know it is hard.  I know it feels so lonely and at times it feels like you are never going to be able to experience the joy of motherhood, but all I can say is trust in the Lord and pray constantly for him to reveal his plan to you.  I also want to give credit to mothers who love their babies so much that they do the most selfless act of giving them up for adoption.  I especially want to thank Mason's birth mom for giving me the gift that keeps on giving and allowing me to be a mom.  She is a brave and selfless person and we are forever grateful to her.

Blessed Be Your Name

Gasp!!  Two posts in one day!!

We sang this song in church today (Mason's first week!) and the lyrics really hit me.  Through this whole adoption process we have continually given God all the glory because He has truly carried us the entire way.  He was with us during the darkest of dark days and He's been with us on the best of the best days.  Mason is here because of Him and we will continue to thank Him every day for bringing this little guy into our lives and allowing us to become parents!

Our Journey to Mason - Considering Adoption and The Most Important Interview Ever

To catch up on the first part of our story, please read this post.

One of the ladies that is part of Brandon's mom's lunch group is also part of a pro-life group at their church and was aware of our struggles to start a family.  During this particular lunch, she informed Brandon's mom that her daughter had gotten pregnant and made an adoption plan and they were curious if Brandon and I would be interested in visiting with her about the possibility of adoption.  Talk about a shock!!  Never did we imagine an opportunity like this would just fall into our laps.  This was NOTHING short of a God thing.  End of story.

I should back up a little bit, though.  Back in July when we decided to halt our treatments, I began thinking about the possibility of adoption, however it was not top of mind at the moment and I didn't want to bring it up to Brandon in case he wasn't in that place yet.  However, he brought it up to me shortly after and we had decided to wait until the beginning of the year to begin our research.  We still needed some time off to clear our "baby brains".  So, in December (one month before we were going to begin our research) God answered our prayers in His time, not ours -- a big lesson for us!!

We took a few days to contemplate this opportunity.  We weighed the pros and cons.  We prayed.  And we prayed some more.  And it was pretty clear that this was a God thing and that we needed to obey Him and at least do the interview, which was set up for the week of Christmas.  As the interview day drew near, we got so nervous and anxious.  I mean talk about an important first impression!  We stewed about what to wear, how to act and what questions to ask.  We wanted to make sure that we didn't over-sell ourselves because the birth mother needed to know the real us, but it was hard to not talk about all of our best qualities!  However, we had to remind ourselves that God was in control and it wasn't going to matter what colors we wore or how we answered questions or how reliable we appeared because He had already worked out the plan and all we had to do was obey.

The interview day arrived and we were basket cases.  We got dressed - jeans and nice shirts in case you were wondering -- put the final touches on our photo album and headed out.  We had never been so nervous to meet a 17 year old girl!  We arrived at the adoption agency office and met the social worker, who showed us to the meeting room.  She visited with us a bit, told us these meetings sometimes take up to two hours (what??? ) and then left us in there alone while she waited for the birth parents to arrive.  We had not planned on two hours and immediately began wondering how the meeting could last two hours.  We heard their voices as they made their way down the hall and my stomach started doing flip flops and my palms started to sweat, but once we said our "hellos" we instantly felt at ease.  The conversation flowed nicely and we realized we all had so much in common - our love for KSU, the birth mom's and my love for cooking and our 4-H days, the birth father and Brandon's love for golf, etc.  We laughed together and told lots of stories and before we knew it two hours had flown by and it was time to go.  We left feeling extremely comfortable with the situation, but we also knew we were not the only families that she was interviewing so we had to guard our hearts a little bit and not get our hopes up too much.

In the days and weeks following the interview we just prayed that God would guide this situation.  We prayed for clarity for everyone.  We prayed for patience for ourselves.  We knew that God had carried us this far and that whatever happened would be part of his plan.  But, it was still a LONG couple of weeks as we waited for "the call."

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Mason has changed so much lately and is getting the cutest little cheeks!!  He turned three weeks old on Thursday which is so hard to believe.  He is beginning to stay awake a little bit more during the day and is sleeping better at night.  He's met lots and lots of family and friends and everyone is just smitten with him.  Here are a few pictures from the past few weeks.

{His cord fell off on this day -- we were sooooo happy!}

{He can furrow his brow with the best of them~}

{Not so sure what to think of bath time}

Our Journey to Mason - Infertility and An Unexpected Lunch Gathering

About two and a half years ago Brandon and I began the journey to start our family and little did we know what God had in store for us...

We began trying for a baby in the fall of 2009.  We were not taking any drastic measures or doing any charting or temperature taking since getting pregnant is like one of the most natural phenomenons known to man.  Yeah....not for us.  After a year of trying with no success we finally enlisted the help of a fertility specialist.

We went in to the first appointment reluctantly because we still did not think we needed their help.  After some initial testing for both of us, which came back clear, I began my first round of Clomid.  That was December of 2010.  After two months on that medication I knew I had had enough.  The side effects were so terrible that I just couldn't take it.  My head felt like it was in a vice grip around the clock, I was irritable, and I just felt crappy so we switched it up and I started taking Femara.  In January, we started intrauterine insemination (IUI) treatments along with the medication.  After two failed attempts, we went back to the drawing board.  After some discussion about what could be preventing pregnancy, it was decided that I should have an exploratory surgery to check for endometriosis, even though I had no symptoms of the disease.  So in April of 2011, I had the surgery and the doctor found some inflammation and signs of endometriosis.  He was able to clean it up nicely and we went on our merry way.

The next two months we continued with the IUI treatments paired with the Femara and added in a timed ovulation shot to give us a better chance for success.  Well, as you can imagine we were unsuccessful both times.  By this point we were tired.  We were tired of feeling like science experiments.  We were tired of living our lives in two week increments.  We were tired of the constant roller coaster of emotions.  We were tired of hearing other people's pregnancy announcements.  We were just plain tired.  We found out that our last treatment did not work in July of 2011 and by that point we had resolved to take some time off from this whole baby-making process.  We wanted to clear our minds and get back to a happy place.

It was at that time that we decided to look for a new house and focus on new things.  We began looking for houses in August and ended up putting our house on the market in September.  The house buying experience was not great but it gave us something else to think about.  On Friday, December 3, our house sale was going down the toilet and Brandon and I were in sporadic contact through out the day regarding house issues.  At one point as I was headed to a meeting Brandon called me about a house issue and he was obviously shaken up.  I didn't have a lot of time to talk to him before the meeting but once I got home, I realized why he was so upset.

In the midst of the house confusion, he had received a phone call from his mom that changed the whole ball game for us.  Earlier that day she had gone to lunch with her monthly lunch group.  This is a group of ladies who used to work together several years ago and they still get together once a month to catch up.  Well, at this particular lunch Brandon's mom walked away with a piece of information that could possibly change our lives in ways we could have never imagined...Stay tuned for more!!!

And just for good measure, here is a pic of little Mason in all his cuteness :)