Never Take Anything for Granted

This week has been hard. On Wednesday, we said goodbye to my 22 year old cousin who was killed in a motorcycle accident over the weekend. When a young person's life is cut short it is an unnatural process for everyone. My heart goes out to his family - my aunt, uncle and two cousins. They are searching the depths of their hearts to understand why this happened, to somehow find peace and to move on with their new life. Nothing will ever be the same for them, nothing. While I'm not writing this post for sympathy for me, I am writing it to remember the lessons I learned this week.

The first lesson: invest in the people around you. This side of my family is large. My dad is one of eight kids and there are 18 cousins, so I am not close to every single one of them. Yes, I "chaperoned" my cousin and his two brothers for a week when I was in college and yes, we would see them at least once a year at Christmas, but beyond that we didn't really know too much about each other. As I sat at the memorial service and listened to the stories about him, it made me sad to realize that I didn't know about his anal ways or how loyal he was or how frugal he was (he and Brandon really had a lot of things in common..he he!). I never invested much time in his life or finding out more about him. So, from now on, I'm going to take the time to invest in people - find out what makes them tick, what they like and dislike, ask them questions about their life and not worry so much about mine.

The second lesson: appreciate the time you have with people. As I mentioned above, Kyle's life was taken too soon. We all get caught up in the day-to-day business of our lives, but if we think about it, we're all only on this earth for a limited amount of time and so why do we take that time for granted? I know that I can get caught up focusing negative aspects of life and in other people; for instance, sometimes instead of appreciating the time I have with some people, I dread it because I always try to figure out what might go wrong. Or instead of see the positive in people, I focus more on their short-comings. Now, I think I will quit worrying about all of that and just enjoy the time I have been given because you just never know when it might all come to a screeching halt.

The third lesson: tell people how you feel about them. Kyle's brother spoke at the service and said that he and Kyle never told each other how they felt, but that they just always knew. Going back to my last point, you never know how much time you have with someone, so instead of putting off telling them how you feel because it might be awkward, just tell them! A simple "I love you" or "I really admire you" or "I appreciate you" might go a long way and you won't ever have any regrets.

The fourth lesson: always be willing to pitch in and help. Once we received the news, our family immediately started figuring out what needed to be done to help out. Two of my aunts and my mom jumped in the car and headed down to Tulsa not knowing what might face them, but they were willing and ready to do whatever needed to be done. They did everything from cleaning house, to running errands, to shopping for clothes. Some of the tasks may not have seemed that important, but I know in the grand scheme of things, it made my aunt's life a little easier in the midst of all she was dealing with. I know I can be selfish with my time and I can let my job or my chores get in the way of making myself available to others. Even if it is just a couple of hours, I want to take the time to help someone in need.

Saying goodbye to Kyle was hard. And, watching loved ones in so much pain was really hard. But, I know Kyle has touched the lives of people he may not have even known and he has opened the eyes of those he did know. Please keep his family in your prayers, especially with the holidays just around the corner. They have a long road ahead of them and as I mentioned, their lives have changed forever and they are just starting to traverse through this "new" life.